March 04, 2004

Oh, thats so tragic!

“I’m Dodging You, Death”

By Carla Rae Jackson

I’m dodging you death
And you just can catch me
I can run, I can hide
While you send your black demons to fetch me

Dodging bullets, dodging pain
Holding on to the mortal chain
Dodging fathom, dodging plague
Not letting you make my days look vague

Aha you missed me,
Come on try again
Hit me with your death sentence,
You missed and you can’t win

You’ve taken so many away from me
I promise I won’t be next
I wont have people looking in my casket
Saying “I knew her life was vexed”

Right, left, up and down
You await the day you can see me in the ground
With a tombstone hanging over my head
Resting eternally in my wormy bed

But like I said you can’t catch me
I’m way to fast
One, Two.... Fast...Move....OH!
You got me. Its time to stop running at last.


“Crusted Over Sweetly”

By Carla Rae Jackson

Take sword and butcher’s knife and this is what well do
Make a special treat Crusted over sweetly just for you.

Take two cups of depression, one cup of mentally insane
Then what comes from that? A gory body, brutally slain.

Now off to the kitchen, here comes the fun part
Severe the body limb to limb, but be sure to set aside the kidneys and heart

Do away with the hair; don’t want to choke on that
Then throw away the belly. Wouldn’t want to gain any extra body fat!

Now boil the arms and legs, until the skin hangs off just right
Now chop them up into little pieces, it looks so good, what a sight.

Mix it all up in a large bowl, with a little yeast, and two cups of sugar brown
Roll it into a ball. Come on, make it nice and round

Then pinched it into a pie mold, and set the oven too
Add the kidneys and heart to the middle, put it in, now you can rest til its through

When it’s done pull off a single finger, to give it a decorative touch
Spread, blood all over the top, but careful, not too much!

No its done and ready, “Lets eat!” you say with glee
Pickup the fork. Your fingers are missing.
“OH NO! I made pie a’ la me!”


My Valentines Day Surprise

By Carla Rae Jackson

Every Valentines Day my husband gets me the greatest gifts and I just “die!”
But this year he overdid himself. He gave me the Ultimate Valentines Day Surprise

“I have something for you honey. The mailman delivered it today.
So hurry home I want to give to you. Come quick with no delay.”

I was so excited when I hung up the phone because of this special gift
So I told my boss I had to go, and early I ended my shift.

I drove through town like a maniac, convinced I was about to be proud
The clouds overhead closed in, and crows perched on my roof, in a crowd.

I got to my house and went in. I said “honey I’m finally here.”
But he was nowhere to be found; all I saw were millions of empty cans of beer.

On the coffee table there sat roses and a letter addressed to me
Maybe my gift is inside, I thought. I snatched the envelope with glee

It said “Dear Honey, I know you’ve been doing me wrong
You broke our wedding vows, but the game is over, you’ve done it far to long.

I trembled at the letter because I knew what this was about
My husband found out about the mailman. I know that’s it. I have no doubt.

I tried to gather my composure. I walked up the steps thinking of what to say
But nothing at all came to me. How could my Valentine be this way?

When I walked through the bedroom door I got my husband’s great surprise.
Pow! A 54-millimeter shotgun, right between the eyes.

So I spent my Valentines Days in a body bag, tags on my toe and my hand
And all because of a fling. “Go to hell you cursed mailman.”


Posted by Carla Rae Jackson at March 4, 2004 02:48 PM
Comments

I really like the Valentine's Day poem. It was really good, it definatly wasn't your typical lovey dovey valentine thing. I was really suprised at the end, but then again that kind of stuff really does happen.
keep writing :)

Posted by: Sue at March 4, 2004 03:48 PM

I have the power to HALT PRODUCTION on all TEENAGE SEX COMEDIES!!
tramadol

Posted by: tramadol at August 9, 2004 12:18 AM
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