McBride, The Color of Water: "Don't tell me how to live"
McBride, The Color of Water (1996) -- Jerz: American Lit II (EL 267)
"Don't tell me how to live," she says. She's always been slightly out of control, my mother, always had the unnerving habit of taking the ship into the air to do loops and spins, then fleeing the cockpit screaming, "Someone do something, we're gonna crash!" then at the last dying second slipping into the pilot's seat and coolly landing the thing herself, only to forget the entire incident instantly. She wouldn't recall it for you if you showed her pictures of herself doing it. She wipes her memory instantly and with purpose; it's a way of preserving herself. That's how she moves. Her survival instincts are incredible, her dances with fire always fun to watch. (271)
I love this passage. McBride's description of his mother's lifestyle reveals a lot about the core of her personality and does an excellent job of explaining how and why she is so endearing.
Comments
She certainly showed her neurosis (as McBride put it) a few times.
But I also think one of the things that kept her going was her ability to shove pain aside. Or can we agree she kept busy enough that she didn't allow it an opportunity to overtake her, hence McBride's references to running.
She chose to live hundreds of miles away from all the emotional triggers in Suffolk and she was outcast by her family, so there was no familial connection to speak of, just the world and the family she created.
Running is fine (and Jennifer can probably comment about it to a greater degree), but all it does is delay the time at which you must deal with the grief. Sooner or later you have to face it, even if not head on or all at once.
Posted by: Matt Hampton | April 22, 2006 11:55 PM
This also made me think about James' own reactions to his mother's ability to deal with chaos and then casually move on. I imagine for some personalities, this might help them also be calm in the face of catastrophe, while others might feel they need to be saved all the time. Looking at the accomplishments of James and his siblings, it is hard to imagine that they didn't all benefit from their mother's abilities.
Posted by: jennifer difulvio | April 20, 2006 11:33 AM