The Unmentioned

I'm buried in books, with a drawing pad handy, yet I can't seem to stop thinking, so...

Feels like summer went by fast this time. I'm glad though, because, to be honest, I'm really bored here at home. I've been polishing some of my skills, but I feel ready to tackle some heavy workloads. I know SHU will provide.

I met some friends where I picked up a new job earlier this year, and I've started to appreciate the whole "hanging out" thing a lot more than I used to. I have a habit of getting lonely very easily, credit belonging to my typically unstable and problematic social life.

I'm really happy, because I have people to go to, depend on, and I'm pretty sure that I won't drive them off with my incessant worrying. (They're incredibly stubborn, thankfully.) They're some cool folks, and they've been spending all summer trying to teach me to have more confidence in myself. I guess it's worked, to some extent; I actually feel comfortable talking to strangers, most times, now. Heck, in the past, I've always been the one who shies away and hides from company until someone drags me out to meet them, (mentally) kicking and screaming.

Anyways, how has everyone else been doing? I've tried to keep in touch with a few people this summer, but I'm horrible at it. I'm really sorry, to those that applies to... but I promise to make it up to you just as soon as I can.

I really think I wouldn't have kept my sanity this summer if it wasn't for drawing. I've been doing a lot of manga-style drawings, lately, trying to come up with my own comic. One of my many little projects... Maybe I'll post up some of my stuff here, if I remember. I don't know why, but drawing while listening to classical music really calms me. It's a feeling of freedom akin to that I feel while skating. Fluid motion, an attempt at cohesive grace. Sometimes it works, sometimes... Well, you can imagine.

You know, I've been thinking a lot about everything that happened last year. It was a real whirlwind, and it all seems like a blur to me now. (Not surprising, considering how varied the events of those months became.) I know that I made a lot of mistakes. Well, not the everyday little ones, I mean the bigger ones, the ones that affect others besides myself... and, well, I guess I want to apologize for them. But there are so many people to apologize to, I don't think I could ever do it all by voice, so...

I dunno, I don't really mind the way things turned out for me in the end. What I want to apologize for are the things that happened along the way, you know? I mean, in the end, I think everything turned out as it should, but... There were better ways to steer my life in that direction, and I didn't realize it back then. So... sorry, to those of you who'd like to hear it.

But enough of that. Right now, I'm stuck with insomnia. (Worst part is, I have a shift at work tomorrow.) But I think my strange work schedule this summer is actually pretty good for me, because it's kept me prepared for the wacky school schedule I have this semester. Classes straight through from 9-5 on Mondays and Wednesdays! I don't even have time to eat lunch... (sigh). Ah well, at least the other days of the week should be pretty easy. : )

Vacation this summer was okay. I went to the Mall of America with my family, and that was sorta fun, but it wasn't as impressive a place as I imagined. Almost entirely consists of clothing stores, and I hate shopping for clothes, hehe. We also went to Valley Fair, an amusement park out in Minnesota, and that was awesome. Let's see, what else... ah, right, I went out with my family again today, out to Altoona. (Coincidently, I was born in Altoona. Real quiet, sleepy place. Like me for the past 20 years, haha.)

I was watching my two younger sisters ride some rides at a park today, and boy, have they grown up fast. I can't believe how mature they've become. Sometimes, it feels like they've even passed me up, hehe. (Of course, I perpetually cling to my childhood, so that's probably not saying much. : P) I was doing some reading lately, a story about a guy my age who suddenly finds out he has twelve sisters he never knew about; at first, I thought it sounded like a nightmare (and the guy in the story felt the same), but as the story went on, we both started to realize how lucky we are to have sisters who cherish us. (I'm talking like he's one of my real pals... Hehe, I do that a lot when it comes to characters from movies and books. I'm a hopeless fantasy fanatic.)

Well, uh, it's getting late... I still don't feel very sleepy, but I guess I'll go lie down and see if some gentle music can convince my eyes to shut.

I really hope everyone has had a great summer. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again soon. Take care, until then, and soak up every precious moment of these last few days. I know I will.

(Oh, by the way, I'm off from work most of this week, so I might be killing some time at SHU the next few days... Still need books... Uh, anyways, maybe I'll see some of you early. If anyone is dying for company, let me know, hehe. Later!)

(I just now noticed that MT is acting up, and my blog seems to have chosen "Leon" as my new username... How it got my AIM SN, I don't know. It screwed up some of my style choices, too. Gah. Anyways, I'll try to figure it out and fix it soon.)