When a coach says that they want to push you until you feel like you have to quit, that's kind of difficult to comprehend as a player. Typically you think that a coach would want their players to succeed rather than give up.
Being pushed to my most extreme limits is not something that I truly enjoy. In fact, every day I dread the moment when Coach tells us to drop our gloves and get on the line. I hate running that much. Last year, we would finish drills or sprints and I wouldn't feel like it was worth it. I didn't feel like I was making progress or bettering myself in anyway. It was pointless. But this year, I've learned a little bit about pushing myself. For me, it really has nothing to do with improving endurance or strength. Those of course are benefits, but not why we're doing it. And this year, even after pouring every ounce of energy into a workout, while I'm dripping in sweat and exhaustion, I know that it wasn't for nothing.
Was it extremely difficult? Yes.
Did I want to give up? Yes.
Did I give up? No. And I hope that I never do.
Maybe I didn't improve my physical abilities at all. More often than not I don't, but I still feel accomplished every single time that I walk off of the field or out of the gym. I know I am a better person for enduring. I can't count the times that I have literally had to talk myself out of giving up. We'll be sprinting and I hear those little, yet powerful, negative thoughts enter my mind and I have to shut myself up. It sounds crazy, but I tell myself to stop complaining and move past it. Because finishing is possible. Yes it's hard, but I can do it. Softball (and any other sport for that matter) is a complete mind game. Half the time I am battling myself rather than the opposing team. It's all about wanting it bad enough and knowing that you are capable of anything that you give 100% effort to.
It's crazy that it took me so many years of softball to realize this, but I guess better late than never.
And there's still so much more to learn...It's all in your head.
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