Interaction

I was surprised by the comments that my Site Map received, but it helped to know what message I was conveying. I also talked with Erin about my frustrations in History Does Repeat Itself.

Depth

My entries Shut Down and A Final Farewell could be considered entries with a little more depth.

Discussion

I talked with Kaitlin on her entry I've been there! about feeling connected with media because you have been to certain places. I also commented on Kelly's blog about favorite Christmas presents and where we see ourselves in the future.

Outside Material

In my post about the softball team being shut down, I included a link to some of the NCAA's rules. I also referenced a few of my classmates' blogs in A Final Farewell.

Ethos

I think I established my ethos as a writer in my entries about history repeating itself and my final entry for the semester.

Convention

Creative titles: History Does Repeat Itself, A Final Farewell, Shut Down

Paragraphing comes in handy with longer entries: Shut Down, A Final Farewell

For classes before, my blogging has been strictly academic. Mostly I responded to pieces of literature or discussed journalistic issues. With this Writing for the Internet class, however, we had the opportunity to write about whatever we wanted: a suprisingly new concept for some of us. I thought it was great to be able to choose our topic, and it allowed me to enjoy the blogging just a little bit more than before.

I think some people blog for other people. They want to hear other people's thoughts and want that input or feedback. They want their work to be seen and read by as many people as possible. With this assignment, because we were allowed to personalize it, I think I ended up using it more for myself than for others. I found it to be a great venue to tell the story of our team as we went through countless changes. Whether I was ranting, venting, or praising, I didn't care. It was just good to get our story out there along with my frustrations as well as my satisfactions.

As far as what I learned this semester, I've come to the conclusion that there is no right way to blog and that it is what you make of it. Just looking at the list of blogs created by my fellow classmates, it's fascinating to see the different topics that we all came up with. There's Kaitlin, who blogged about anything and everything that struck her as interesting. There's Kelly, who got us thinking about the meaning of pictures and what they can tell us about people. There's Kiley, who showed us her passion for Pittsburgh Penguin hockey. There's Guy, who chose to share with us personal stories about a friend who taught him many things about life. The list goes on and on. Each blog is unique in its own way, and I'm sure each person took something different away from their experience as well.

It doesn't necessarily matter how many people follow your blog or how many comments you get. It matters that you are getting something out of the experience, be it small or something bigger.

So I guess I will end by asking my fellow el236ers, what will you take away from this nonconventional blogging experience?

And here, many months later, we find ourselves in a similar position, as we dread our season before it has even begun.

We cannot understand how we came to be in this place and state of mind again after such promising progress this fall. It's so frustrating to be let down again and again. We're tired of not getting the respect that we deserve and being treated like children. We were given false hope and it has pushed some girls to their wits end. They don't see the point anymore. We thought it couldn't get any worse than last year, but here we are. If we aren't going to be taken seriously, why should we take anyone else seriously?

It's a valid question don't you think?

All of our hard work may end up meaning nothing as the NCAA has laid down their punishment.

I understand that you all may not be aware of the NCAA rules for softball teams in Division II, but they are pretty straightforward and strict. For the conditioning part of the fall and winter seasons, which we are in right now, each college softball team is permitted to practice as a team for 8 hours every week. As for the specifics, I am not sure. Because there are certain allotted hours for individual instruction and team instruction that I have been unable to find in a document somewhere. What I am sure of, however, is that our team went over hours. For several weeks, we were over by more than an hour, which according the NCAA apparently is unacceptable.

And so now, we are not allowed to practice as a team, at all, ever, for the remainder of the semester (as of Friday, November 19th). Our other more impactful punishment is the NCAA's right to make us forfeit up to 5 games for our spring season and we could be potentially unable to attend the Conference Tournament (our playoffs). Basically, our season could potentially be meaningless.

Some say it's the players fault for not bringing the issue to the coach's attention. Others blame the coaches who should be aware of the rules and regulations of the sport that they are coaching. But who to blame should be the least of our worries at this point in time. We are in serious trouble right now and in jeopardy of losing a season that we have worked so hard for. So there are two outcomes that we could have in the next few months:

1. We could give up. We could find out that whether we win or lose, a championship season is not going to be allowed and figure "What's the point?" Our seniors could quit, based on the opinion that they might as well enjoy their final year instead of working for an impossible goal.

2. We could fight. We could take our punishment in stride and work twice as hard on our own as we would've with the team. We could say that whether we go to the Conference Tournament or not, we're going to play like we know how and prevent other teams from moving onto the tournament by winning everything we can.

I know that there will be a few girls from our team who choose option 1. I can't blame them, it's the easiest and most sensible way to respond. But I would hope that the majority of us would choose option 2. It doesn't matter what our coaches think, or what the NCAA thinks, we can only control ourselves. I don't know about the rest of my team, but I'm not ready to give up on the game that I have been playing for so many years.

P.S.-Check out some of the NCAA bylaws in the document below.

2004-2005NCAABYLAW17GeneralRules.doc

Home Page

-a welcome/introduction/why I made this site

-links, links, and more links!

   -blog

   -Twitter

   -teaching page

   -journalism page

   -softball page

   -contact page

Teaching Page

   -sample lesson plans

   -sample activities created for lesson plans

   -philosophy of education statement

Journalism Page

   -sample articles

   -sample photographs taken

Softball Page

   -photographs of me playing

   -introduction including my experience as far as playing and coaching

   -statistics from previous years?

Contact Page

   -contact information (if I don't use this page, I will put my contact information on the home page)

   -sample resume created for previous class (created as if I have already graduated from school)?

In this section of the course, we began by developing our Multimedia Stories, where I learned how to convey ethos and emotion in 60 seconds through pictures and video.  It was somewhat difficult to achieve our purpose, but I think we were successful in the end. One of the biggest struggles I think was the unavailability of a MacBook. The programs on my PC were faulty at times, and I think using iMovie would have taken our project to the next level, and I tweeted my frustrations. We also began working with jEdit and HTML code to create our future webpages, which is a new topic to me. I've never used HTML before, but it's straight answers and concrete distinctions are welcomed after an overload of writing this semester. I'm continuing to learn new techniques and how to blend them with ones that I already know to create something really great.

Interaction

One blog post in particular, concerning softball stereotypes, received a lot of discussion recently despite it being posted for my last blog portfolio. I was really happy to receive some support from Josie Rush, who is not even a member of our class. It shows that my blogs are reaching more people than before, which I am excited about. Guy and I also had a discussion about the anxiety of athletic conditioning, which was comforting.

Depth

My blog about the anxiety that surrounds a sport's conditioning coincidentally was one of my longer entries.

Discussion

I commented on Kaitlin's blog where we talked about how getting up in the wee hours of the morning has its small advantages. I also talked with April about the quality of blog writing in her post Blogging as Goal Fullfillment.

Outside Material

In my post that served as a clarification of a previous post, I linked back to the original article that I responded to, as well as the original post itself. In my response to the Multimedia Story project, I linked to Kelly's post of our project which appeared on her blog, as well as the SHU Athletics Website.

Ethos

I think that my clarifying blog post said a lot about who I am as a writer. I wanted to make a statement in response to some comments that were made on my Stereotypes post, and I felt like I showed the ideas that I really am trying to convey with my blog.

Convention

Creative Title: I'm about to hit the wall.

Blogging Etiquette: My comment in response to Jered's in my blog A Stereotype That I Just Can't Seem to Shake (I thought that I handled his criticism respectfully.)

Paragraphing: It's Conditioning Time!

Honestly, I thought that creating this video was going to be a pretty boring process. I like being allowed creativity in class, but creativity usually requires more time input, and this particular project seemed like more work than I was up for at the time. After its completion though, I was glad that we were asked to do it. I knew beforehand that athletics were a big part of the Seton Hill experience, but I had never really thought about what it meant to me to be a Seton Hill athlete. I've evaluated several times why I play the sport, for myself and my teammates, but until now I hadn't considered what it meant to play for Seton Hill. I've learned that it's about having pride in where you come from and being more than an athlete. Seton Hill athletes do it all. They help the community, they're good students, they're good people. We try to represent this University in the best way possible. Playing our sports is just a tiny portion of what we do everyday, and I think that is the way that it should be. In thinking about athletics, I realized that it's more than just athletics. How crazy is that?!

Hopefully you will appreciate the female athletes of SHU and all that they do day in and day out after watching our video.

(p.s. Of course the men of SHU are important too! Being girls though, we wanted to highlight our teams in particular. You mean just as much to Seton Hill though as we do!)

Week 1 wasn't so horrible, I made it through pretty smoothly. But now the exhaustion is starting to set in. I can feel myself slacking and not paying as much attention in class as I should be. When I should be working ahead or finishing necessary homework, I am catching up on as much sleep as possible. With a big essay due on Monday, I can't seem to find the motivation to get it done ahead of time before Sunday rolls around and I have 8 pages to write. It's all accumulating and I am about to hit that wall.

With the stress and exhaustion starting to overcome me, of course my immune system is bound to become compromised, hence why I have been coughing and hacking for the past week or so. As if my busy schedule wasn't overwhelming enough, everything is made ten times harder due to not being 100%.

I know, this sounds like I am just complaining over and over again. Which, I guess I am. But my life is controlled by softball, so in order to know about me, you have to know about this. You would have to understand that each day I spend twice as much time at practice than I do in class or doing homework. It's all that I know right now, so it makes sense to write about it, whether it bores you or not :)

And once I get through next Monday, everything will be a little bit easier, and maybe then I can find something less depressing and complaining to discuss.

My intention in responding to the ESPN article about Lauren Lappin was never to insult anyone or to make it seem as if my struggles were greater than anyone else's, but rather to emphasize the fact that sexual orientation does not matter when it comes to a person's character or talent. I felt as though my opinions were clear enough in my original post, however, maybe these beliefs did not come through as strong as necessary.

I do not hate anyone for the life choices that they have made. It all comes down to a person's character, not their sexual orientation. The stereotype that "haunts" softball (quoted from Graham Hays' title) is not frustrating to me because I do not want to be labeled as something that I am not. As I said previously, the softball stereotype angers me because it overshadows girls' talent when it should not even factor into the equation. I want to be known for my ability to play softball, not because I am or am not gay.

I understand that everyone struggles due to stereotypes, some more than others. To some this may not seem like an issue, but to me it is a problem near to my heart. I've dedicated my life to this sport and that should count for something.

My hope is that in the future this can be discussed maturely and openly.

Not Christmas time or leaf-raking time or pumkin-carving time or a time to visit with family.

Nope, it's conditioning time.

After a short 2-week hiatus, we're back to the grind as our 6 weeks of Hell have begun. The anticipation built as we had our two week break from anything and everything softball. We had already experienced a more intense program in the fall than before, and could not even imagine what the coaches had in store for us. Having not been told which day conditioning would start, every time we received an e-mail from anyone, my heart would drop down into my stomach as I assumed it was from Coach telling us that we were about to die. The day finally came when we received our schedule and we learned that Monday, November 1st was the day that our lives would be changed forever.

As Monday rolled around, I can speak for my whole team in saying that we were each a total ball of nerves. I think that I almost threw up several times that day at the thought of the torture that was about to ensue. We all said our goodbyes to our friends and family, who we thought that we would never see again, and met at 4 p.m.

Off to a good start, we panicked not knowing whether we were in the correct location. Conditioning was going to be painful enough, we didn't want to add to the hurt. But we ended up being in the right place, after a frantic sprint to the field house from McKenna, and it began. We started just by learning what lifting exercises we were going to be doing as the weeks went on, which calmed our nerves slightly. We had finally settled down when Coach said, "Okay, we're just going to do a short timed mile to see where we're at."

Complete silence.

I think some of us wanted to laugh. Last year, a timed mile was one of the hardest things that we were forced to do all year, and now it was seen as an easy, short run? I remember thinking we were in for a wild ride. Oh, and we weren't allowed to use iPods either. How was I supposed to run without music!? Well, we managed somehow. Although the coaches seemed to think it was a leisurely run around the track, we all sprinted and busted our butts to get the best times possible. Everyone even made a time better than last year's best! We had made it through Day 1.

After surviving Week 1 of conditioning, I have come to the conclusion that we may have overexaggerated just a little. Has it been difficult? Yes. Am I sore? Beyond sore, more like immobile. But have I died? No! I have made it through.

Of course there is always next week :)

One of the bigger projects that we worked on in the last few weeks was the Remix where I learned how to take work created by others and put it together to create something new of my own. To do this, we had to learn about copyright licenses and we used Creative Commons to find a lot of the pieces used in our Remixes. I also learned how to choose a Creative Commons License for my own Remix project so someday someone could use my material! In class we also talked a lot about ethos and how to convey emotion in our writing which turned out to be a little more difficult than I thought! We even Twittered and tried to get other classmates to guess what emotion we were expressing through words and pictures, which was a great activity in my opinion.

Interaction

I know that my personal softball stories are more for myself than anyone else, so I tried to write about some topics that were still softball related but that also gathered some interest from other classmates. When I talked about the stereotypes of my sport, I had a discussion with 2 of my classmates who had never commented before, which I thought was a great step for my blog. Even though it was complete for my last portfolio, I also got a comment more recently about the future of softball. My remix project got a comment as well.

Depth

In my last portfolio I had a lot of longer narrative entries, so in the past few weeks I tried to switch it up a little. But my entry on one of the worst practice experiences of my life took up a good bit of space.

Discussion

I talked to one classmate about his poetry, another concerning moments that we wish we could've captured, yet another about Penguins hockey memories, and one about not taking fall for granted.

Outside Material

In my entry about softball stereotypes, I linked to an ESPN article that discussed the same issue.

Ethos

I had a little trouble with this one when creating my last portfolio, so I tried to create a clearer ethos with my stereotype entry along with my entry called A Total Mind Game.

Convention

Creative Titles: Run Until You Puke, Pass Out, or Die, A Total Mind Game

Use of 140 Characters on Twitter: Friendly Ethos, Emotion-Soothing, Drawing Emotion-Soothing, Thought- Provoking Question

When I think of the sterotypical softball player, I think of adjectives such as athletic, hard-working, agile, and intelligent.

But I also realize that when most of you think of a softball player, you think GAY. Why? Why is it that I work so hard to play a sport that I love, when that often is wasted on a sterotype that really doesn't even have any support? It's extremely frustrating when someone asks me what sport I play and when I say softball, I get that look. It's that look where if they don't question my own sexuality, they look at me as if they are so sorry that I have to deal with so many lesbians. Personally, I feel like that is a horrible generalization of my sport.

I will be the first one to admit that I am not the most liberal person out there in the world, but this conversation has nothing to do with being liberal or conservative. It has to do with the reputation of softball and why girls' talent is overlooked because some people are more concerned with a stereotype than with taking us seriously.

It shouldn't matter whether a person is straight or gay. Can they play the game? Can they play the game well? Those are the attributes that should be paid attention. If a softball has talent, then that is what matters.

Graham Hays of ESPN wrote a great article about Lauren Lappin, a true softball star who just happens to be gay. It was about her ability to play the game at a high level and how her sexual orientation has nothing to do with that. I may not personally agree with her lifestyle choice, but that doesn't mean that I can't praise her for her incredible talent. Nothing should take that away from any athlete.

Being pushed to my most extreme limits is not something that I truly enjoy. In fact, every day I dread the moment when Coach tells us to drop our gloves and get on the line. I hate running that much. Last year, we would finish drills or sprints and I wouldn't feel like it was worth it. I didn't feel like I was making progress or bettering myself in anyway. It was pointless. But this year, I've learned a little bit about pushing myself. For me, it really has nothing to do with improving endurance or strength. Those of course are benefits, but not why we're doing it. And this year, even after pouring every ounce of energy into a workout, while I'm dripping in sweat and exhaustion, I know that it wasn't for nothing.

Was it extremely difficult? Yes.

Did I want to give up? Yes.

Did I give up? No. And I hope that I never do.

Maybe I didn't improve my physical abilities at all. More often than not I don't, but I still feel accomplished every single time that I walk off of the field or out of the gym. I know I am a better person for enduring. I can't count the times that I have literally had to talk myself out of giving up. We'll be sprinting and I hear those little, yet powerful, negative thoughts enter my mind and I have to shut myself up. It sounds crazy, but I tell myself to stop complaining and move past it. Because finishing is possible. Yes it's hard, but I can do it. Softball (and any other sport for that matter) is a complete mind game. Half the time I am battling myself rather than the opposing team. It's all about wanting it bad enough and knowing that you are capable of anything that you give 100% effort to.

It's crazy that it took me so many years of softball to realize this, but I guess better late than never.

And there's still so much more to learn...It's all in your head.

The idea that Dr. Atherton and I came up with was to create an instructional book, including photographs, for parents and coaches of young girls just starting out in the sport. Coaching is one of my bigger interests for my future career, so I started by taking a look at some of the coaching books already out there and it sparked some interesting personal opinions.

One of the biggest flaws that I've seen in the coaching books that I have looked into is that, especially for younger children, there is really too much emphasis on technique and hardcore practice. Whatever happened to a little kid just having fun playing a sport? Granted, if they ever want to make it further than their little community leagues, they're going to have to put some time and effort into it. On the other side of the scale, however, sometimes kids need to experience other aspects of sports such as pure enjoyment. I can remember being a little girl and just itching to get out on the field for practice. It's a feeling that doesn't last forever, coming from experience, so it should be given some attention.

There are also topics like team-bonding that need to take prominence as well. For little kids, sports are a place where they get to meet some of their best friends and create memories with those children.

Yes, technical skills and discipline are important, but parents and coaches can't forget the reason why children are playing in the first place...to have fun!

But for some reason, on this particular day, we just weren't on our game. Balls were flying everywhere. Girls were dropping throws that were perfectly good and no one was focusing. Instead of sprinting to the next base, we somewhat leisurely jogged and halfheartedly shouted the numbers as we completed our throws. Our lack of effort did not go unnoticed, and all of a sudden, our practice came to a screeching halt. Coach didn't waste time in making sure that we understood that a lack of effort was unnacceptable, as she told us to spread out along the 3rd base line.

"Sprint to me," were her words, as we struggled to hustle as best as we could in the sweltering heat. We completed 6 of these sprints, and at that point Coach gave us another chance. All we had to do was show some effort...count with heart, sprint with eagerness, and think smart.

And we failed.

At that point, there was no turning back; Coach had given us our one and only second chance to turn things around and we failed. She described to us what we were to run next, and proceeded to drill us for the remaining hour and a half of practice. With no sympathy in her expression, Coach would repeat "Again," over and over again, until we were at the point where we were sure that we would either puke, pass out, or possibly even die. (This may seem like an exaggeration now, but at the time, I know I wasn't completely alone in my thinking!)

Now, if last year's team had been put through the same punishment, I doubt that the reaction would have been the same as it was two weeks ago. Last year's team would have complained and maybe even quit in defiance. We would have succumbed to the challenge. This year, we took it upon ourselves to do better. We didn't once question Coach as she continued to "torture" us, but we immediately blamed ourselves for our own misfortune. We trusted her and knew that she wouldn't have made us run for something that we didn't earn, and we respected that. This year's team understood that we were to blame, and that we needed to better if we wanted to succeed.

And in the past two weeks since that very day, not once have we given less than 110%.