March 10, 2004

Blank Verse Blues

Blank verse is hard! I don't know how this Shakespeare guy did it, but he must have been one of the most prolific writers ever! :'P I am giving it my best shot...trying to write a sonnet.

Sonnet 1: Truck Hits Girl

I watched the girl with the blonde hair walk by
She stroll'd like she had nothing wrong that day
Her hair flow'd like a stream; I tell no lie
She glanc'd at me, I wish'd that she could stay
But ah! She fell down because of her shoe
Her ankle in much pain, she could not move
I ran far down the street to her rescue
But a small problem was that I fell too
I raised myself and ran to help the dame
Stumbling, fumbling; seeming to entertain
I hop'd that I did not look very lame
She appeared to be in so much pain
I ran to her but I was just to late
Poor girl, the truck had seem'd to meet her fate.

Eh...it was worth a try at least. Let me know what you think.

Posted by The Gentle Giant at March 10, 2004 05:10 PM
Comments

This is good. Wish I could have done so well on mine. It flowed well, but I don't understand the truck thing at the end. OH! You need a title too my friend...

Tiff

Posted by: Tiffany at March 10, 2004 05:44 PM

I liked it. Interesting the way you put things. Nice try. Keep up the good work.

Posted by: Tammy Moon at March 10, 2004 05:49 PM

Agreement on the truck thing.

The Gentle Giant to the rescue. I felt like I was watching Superman. Good images.

Are you sure all of these are stressed and unstressed? I could be wrong. Please forgive.

*Just a note* Every time I come to your blog I think it should be Green Giant. And the blog colors should be green. Just wanted to get that off my chest.*

Posted by: Amanda at March 10, 2004 06:08 PM

Um, keep working on the blank verse. Remember to put the natural stress on words... Don't force things to rhyme, either.

Good job for a first try ;)

Posted by: Karissa at March 10, 2004 06:13 PM

She got hit by a friggin truck! Oh well, thank you Tiff about needing the title, and thank you Amanda about the Green Giant comment!:'P

Posted by: The Gentle Giant at March 10, 2004 06:19 PM

Hey Jay! This is actually the first time that I have been to your site...you gentle giant you, haha!

Your sonnet was very interesting...kinda morbid at the end...but I liked it :). Good job Jay!
-Melly Mel

Check out my blog- A League of Mel's Own :)

Posted by: Mel at March 10, 2004 07:57 PM

I thought it was interesting. I have no idea if the stressed/unstressed was right or not, but it flowed and isn't that what matters after all?
The ending does seem kinda sudden, maybe have a little more build-up? Though your guess is as good as mine as to whether or not I know what I'm talking about.

You are so right though, Shakespeare was an incredibly talented literary genius! :)

Posted by: Diana at March 11, 2004 11:14 AM

Your welcome Jay!

Tiff

Posted by: Tiffany at March 11, 2004 12:57 PM

u funny mother fucker put more funny death storys on line so i can use them in class becasue im a lazy ass

Posted by: andy at January 10, 2005 11:55 PM
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