The Blue Monkey Review

On May 20, citizens of Montenegro (Crna Gora) will go to the polls to decide whether or not to continue the current federal relationship that the tiny Adriatic country has with Serbia. Those friends who still write to me often mention the “political situation,” which I assume means the growing debate and media struggle over this issue. Some strongly support independence, others just as strongly want to remain connected to Serbia. And some just as strongly don’t know.

Since the issue first appeared last spring, I have assumed that independence would result from the referendum. On radio and television, the only advertisements on the subject came from the independence party, i.e., the government of Milo Djukanovic who has said that the relation with Serbia has become “dysfunctional.” The slogan adopted by the separation movement (or their media wise men) was “Samo jest’ dena Crna Gora.” Literally, that comes out as “There is only one Montenegro.” But it also can take the meaning that Crna Gora is only Crna Gora when it is alone (independent). My strongly pro-Serbian student (and friend) Alexander Bogdonovic would grumble when I mentioned the slogan. “I don’t want to hear,” he would say.

Recently, I talked with Nenad “Ned” Radulovich, a Candaian-American whose family is Serbian and who lived in Serbia while doing research for his dissertation on World War II diplomacy in Yugoslavia. Ned thinks the independence vote will fall short of the 55% majority established by the European Union for recognition of independent status. Thirty per cent of the population, in Ned’s analysis, is Muslim (Bosnian or Albanian) or Croatian. Those groups will almost certainly vote for independence as a show of contempt toward Serbia (however, he also noted that pro-Serbian partisans are trying to convince Bosnian Muslims not to break up the Muslim Sanjak, which includes parts of Serbia and Montenegro). For independence to result, more than one-third of the 70% of Montenegrins who are Serbian (i.e., consider themselves affiliated with Serbian Orthodoxy) will have to embrace it. Ned thinks independence can gain a majority, but not the higher standard set by the E.U.

I’m impressed with Ned’s analysis, though I still tend to think Montenegro is on its way out of Yugoslavia. Quite apart from the Catholics and Muslims, who don’t have any sentimental attachment to Serbia, many Serbian Montenegrins want independence. Residents in and around Cetinje (the former capital city of prince bishops who ruled the country for generations and of the short-lived Kingdom of Montenegro) strongly support independence. Niksic (my temporary home), the second largest city in Montenegro, has continued as the base for Djukanovic and his party. Podgorica, the current capital and largest city (about 100,000 of 600,000) , might play a deciding role. But when I visited Podgorica, it was visibly (indeed, strikingly) awash with E.U. aid and NGO involvement. It’s hard not to believe that Podgoricans don’t already consider themselves Europeans rather than Yugoslavians.

The other part of the support for independence among “Serbian” Montenegrins comes from the belief that the country will quickly become prosperous once it no longer has ties with Serbia. When I talked to students in Cetinje about the referendum, they had no doubt that Montenegro would attract tourists from all over Europe. “People tell us that the coast is better here than anywhere they’ve seen. We have mountains for skiing, beaches, forests. Everything.” So true! Montenegro is an astonishingly beautiful country. And the belief that the natural attractions of Montenegro will draw tourist dollars seems fairly well-founded. I’m sure it will become an important tourist destination in the near future, though more as a part of the growing attraction of the Adriatic Riviera that extends from Split to Dubrovnik, just a short drive from the Montenegrin border.

What I’m not sure of, though, is whether Montenegrins will really enjoy the prosperity they expect. Any visitor to Acapulco would have to admit that tourism can attract foreign exchange without leading to generalized development. Currently Montenegro lacks much of the infrastructure necessary to take advantage of a rush of tourists. Those ruggedly beautiful mountains make for some perilous driving. Foreign aid to build roads has made important improvements, but many of those Euros and Dollars disappeared into the pockets of politicians and bureaucrats. So, for instance, the excellent two-lane road from Podgorica to the airport, built with U.S. money, was supposed to have been a four-lane road. And I’ve already gone on at some length about the garbage problem. The kind of investment needed to really capitalize tourism will necessarily come from abroad. I think in coming years a lot of Montenegrins will find work with German hotel chains.

Posted by at 3:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

This evening I had two e-mails from people in Montenegro in my inbox. Both were forwards, one from a colleague and the other from a student—I was just an innocent bystander in their address book. What was interesting was that they were two different e-mail scams, the kind that you’ve probably seen many times over the years. The one was the “my daughter is desperately sick and you can help by forwarding this to everyone you know and sending in the equivalent of the cost of a postage stamp.” The other one was, “if you forward this to everyone you know Microsoft will send you ___ for every message.” Even with my rudimentary Serbo-Croatian I recognized the scams pretty quickly. But, I guess Balkan people are no more gullible than we are, just later at assimilating the internet.

If you are interested, I include the texts in the extended entry. If you read Serbo-Croatian, you can check and correct my summaries.

[Request for help from the father of a girl with a tumor. This is a version of the Little Girl Dying hoax.]

Predmet: Leukemija - molim Vas procitajte poruku!

Ako je izbrisete onda uistinu nemate srce.
Zdravo, ja sam otac, imam 29 godina. Ja i moja supruga smo imali predivan
zivot. Bog nas je blagoslovio s predivnom djevojcicom. Nasa kci se zove
Rachele i ima 10 godina. Lijecnici su joj otkrili tumor na mozgu i u
tijelu. Jedini nacin da je spasimo je pristupiti operaciji. Medjutim za
takova sta mi nemamo dovoljno novca. AOL i ZDNET (mreze u Italiji) su
pristali da nam pomognu. Nacin na koji ce nam pomoci je slijedeci: ja sam
vam poslao ovu poruku,a vi je proslijedite ostalima. AOL ce prema poslanim
porukama izracunati koliko je osoba dobilo ovu poruku i po svakoj osobi
koja otvori ovu e-mail poruku i proslijedi je drugim osobama nama ce
donirati 32 centa.

[Bill Gates has money he wants to send to you! This is quite long because it includes testimonials to the reality of this message. This is a version of the Bill Gates Hoax.]

Uzeo sam za pretpostavku da se ovo sto cinim, mozda
ipak moze isplatiti, pa sam ga preveo na nas jezik.

Evo prevoda:

"Normalno ne saljem obavijestenja ove vrste,
ali ova vijest dolazi od jedne jako dobre
prijateljice moje prijateljice, koja je pravnica i
cini se kao interesantna mogucnost. Ako ona tvrdi da
funkcionira, onda i funkcionira. U svakom slucaju,
ne moze se nista izgubiti.

Ispricala mi je sljedece:
Ja sam pravnica i poznajem zakon. To je
cinjenica. Nemojte se zavaravati, AOL i Intel drze
svoja obecanja iz straha da budu dovedeni pred sud i
konfrontirani sa milionima, kako je Pepsi Kola
nedavno ucinila sa General Electric-om.



Dragi prijatelji, ne smatrajte ovo za neku
glupu salu. Bill Gates upravo brani svoje bogatstvo.
Ako na to ne reagujete, moze vam kasnije biti zao.
Windows je jos uvijek najcesce koristen program.
Microsoft i AOL upravo eksperimentisu njime pomocu
e-majlom poslatim tekstom (e-mail beta test). Ako
ovu postu posaljete prijateljima, Mikrosoft ce moci
slijedit njezin trag dvije sedmice.

Svakoj osobi koja ovu obavijest posalje,
Microsoft placa 245 eura. Za svaku osobu kojoj ste
ovo poslali i koja to dalje proslijedila, placa Vam
243 eura. Za trecu osobu u nizu, Microsoft Vam place
241 euro. Nakon dvije sedmice ce Vam se
Microsoft obratiti sa molbom o potvrdi postanske
adrese da bi Vam poslao cek.

Uz srdacan pozdrav


Ja sam ovo smatrala prevarom, ali dvije
sedmice nakon sto sam ovu porukuprimila i poslala je
dalje, zamolio me je Microsoft za moju postansku
adresu i dobila sam cek na 24 800.- eura. Vi morate
odgovoriti prije nego sto se ovaj test zavrsi. Ako

neko od vas ima tu mogucnost, treba da je iskoristi.
Za Billa Gatesa su ovi troskovi za jednu natjecajnu
kampanju. Molim, posaljite ovu poruku na onoliko
ljudi koliko je to moguce. Trebalo bi da dobijete
najmanje 10 000 eura. Ja ne bih proslje?ivala ovu
poruku dalje, ako od toga ne bih imala korist.


Jedna poznanica moga oca koja se prije
nekoliko mjeseci ovdje doselila, pokazala mi je, kad
je iznosila 4 324,44 eura. Tetka jednog dobrog
prijatelja, teta-Patricija koja radi za Intel, je
upravo za dalje slanje ove poruke dobila cek u
iznosu od 4-543,23 eura.

Kao sto sam kazala, ja poznajem zakon i tacno
je da Intel i AOL upravo pregovaraju o jednoj fuziji
koja bi ih ucinila najvecim ponu?ivacem usluga na
svijetu. Da bi potvrdili da je njihov program od
svi najkorisceniji, sprovode ovaj test".
Posto sam ovim zavrsio njemacki prevod i
poslao Vam ovu poruku, ostaje mi da vjerujem da cete
e i Vi dalje proslijediti i da nije neslana sala.
Ja sam probao, probajte i Vi!
Sa Vase strane nije potrebno na tekstu nista
mijenjati niti dodavati. Jednostavno pritisnuti
"Forward" i poslati sto vecem broju primaoca
Pozdrav,
Detrska Ambasada za site deca vo svetot

Posted by at 10:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Psychotherapists often express reluctance to identify a behavior pattern as a “condition” or “sickness” without guidance from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). I assume this caution results from their concern that morbidifying a problem may give it greater power, more resilience in the life of the client (some say it is because insurance companies will not reimburse non-DSM complaints—I think readers can evaluate this claim for what it is worth). Any comparison of the several editions of the DSM since the early 1950s will demonstrate that psychiatrists, who develop the DSM, only reluctantly add disease-entities to their standard diagnoses. These professional concerns help explain the glacial rate of acceptance that a condition that has afflicted millions has only recently gained the status of a DSM-endorsed condition (or, let me hastily add, Montenegrin newspaper Republika reports that the next DSM will include it). Hundreds of years of observation and study, and thousands (millions?) of pages of discussion have finally borne fruit in the new diagnostic category: romantia.

Everyone knows dementia, the loss of cognitive function due to disease or old age. In fact, many stressful situations can bring about dementia, and it may be temporary or chronic, mild or acute. Even if you are not personally acquainted with the author, I’m sure you know people who suffer from poor memory, confusion, poor judgment, and perhaps even delusion. These same patterns of dysfunction afflict millions of people every day, but in romantia the dysfunctionality comes in their relation with individuals of the opposite sex—or the same sex, or in some other way, sex is involved. Let’s just say, passionate and / or intimate relations.

Poor or lost memory often afflicts sufferers from dementia (and Baby Boomers everywhere). This also appears in romantia, but it will often occur in the strange form of uneven memory. This condition includes complete loss of some important data (ex.: “when I first met him he was dating a good friend of mine whom he left for me”) and highly acute and accurate retention of other information (ex: “on March 3 at 2:26 A.M., as we returned from the Red Star Brewery and Grill, he told me I was the only woman he ever loved, that he’d never leave me, and the proof of it was that he was opening up to me like he never opened up to anyone before, ever.). And, if this sad combination of conditions doesn’t make the sufferer’s situation seem bad enough, romantia also often includes the appearance of false memories. (ex: “he told me that living together would help us get ready for spending the rest of our lives together.”) Taken together, these cognitive aberrations of romantia have received the entirely new DSM designation of pernicious memory.

The other signs of cognitive decline—confusion, poor judgment, delusion—are universal in human life, though of course much more acute in those suffering from dementia. Remember, though, that romantia sufferers (romantiacs), unlike the demented or members of the Bush administration, show cognitive decline only related to straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered relationships. I can give examples of each, though I encourage readers to send in examples they know from personal experience (of other people, of course),

Poor judgment:
“I thought his binge drinking made him, you know, fun, interesting.”
“She said she was over him and that they only saw each other because they still had mutual friends.”

Confusion:
“I always spent more money when we went out. Even now I don’t know how I ran up this much debt.”

Delusion:
“He’s the smartest person I’ve ever known. And the kindest. And the most honest.”
“There’s no one else like her. She’s my soulmate.”
“S/he completes me.”

Now that the American Psychiatric Association has recognized romantia for what it is—a disease entity—we can hope, at least, that some relief for the romantiac is on the horizon. But it’s a distant horizon, and hoping for more would be, well, demented. All longitudinal studies, all clinical reports (sadly, all double-blind studies quickly fell apart), all observation, and the common experience of people everywhere leave little room to expect much more than amelioration. As world-renowned expert, Leonard Cohen, commented after his exhaustive review of the research literature: “there ain't no cure for love.”

Posted by at 1:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)