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December 17, 2003
Someone I knew.
I really detest funerals. More than anything in the whole world--and now I have one that I should attend. And before Christmas, of all times... but I shouldn't complain... think of how the family feels...
Death can strike at anytime, at any place, to anyone--no limit to age, race, gender, or class. Once it takes hold, there's hardly any chance to stop it, unless you're lucky. Natural causes, diseases, unfortunate accidents, self-inflicted, murder...
Drug overdoses.
Yesterday, I received news that one of my former classmates had passed away. The first death in my class--only a mere 6 months after graduation... Shock rattled my body to hear his name.
When my friend told me, we didn't know details. We only knew he was found in his car during the morning hours. Today, I was informed that it was, indeed, a heroin overdose. He had always been a skinny kid, but that was normal for a boy his size; it's not like he was some hulking guy...
Ian was in my American Government class this past spring. I can't say we were friends during high school, but we were always nice to each other, since we'd dated during middle school. He never failed to tell me each day in sixth grade how beautiful he thought I was. We went to the Valentines Day dance. He bought me a pink carnation coursage. I think I still have it, despite the fire. I probably have a few of the notes he wrote me.
When we broke-up, it was on a good note because we wanted to remain friends, and we did, for the most part... he just started hanging out with a different crowd that I did. Somewhat the "wrong" crowd, in my humble opinion, but that's me exercising my right to my opinion. Not like I wasn't an acquaintance of a few people in that crowd--I just don't smoke, do drugs, or drink, so I didn't really fit in, I suppose. (Obviously his fate was not one I could have forseen in sixth grade, dating the boy I had told my mother had "big, brown puppy dog eyes.")
Drugs kill, folks. Enough said. But this isn't just a statistic. It was someone I knew.
Posted by KarissaKilgore at December 17, 2003 5:10 PM
Comments
hey. i'm really sorry to hear about that. I know what it's like to lose a friend. I hope you are feeling better.
Your friend,
.:*Lauren*:.
Posted by: Lauren at December 17, 2003 5:30 PM
Karissa, I'm so incredibly sorry to hear about your friend. I can't say that I know how you feel because I have never lost a classmate before, but I can sympathize with your detest of funerals. I never liked having to go to veiwings or to funerals so I would try to come up with some reason not to go. I even tried to get out of going to my grandfathers funeral. (My other grandparents died when I was too yound to understand.) It was only recently that I started going to them. No matter how much I hated them, I knew that I should go to support that family. I have to go to a funeral this weekend for a woman I never even met, but I know how you feel about funerals at Christmas because that's when my pap died...I'll be praying for ya hun, the family, and the boy. May he rest in peace...
Tiffany
Posted by: Tiffany at December 17, 2003 11:36 PM
You know, sometimes we feel like the whole world is full of happy-go-lucky people. We forget that pain is a reality.
When I go to a funeral, I am at a loss for words. There is nothing to say, except the cliched phrases and just holding each other.
I recently went to a viewing, and I couldn't believe that he was just lying there, and the rest of his family was alive. He had cancer. And he knew he didn't have much time left.
His son is year younger than I. I don't know how he deals. But he does.
The cancer could not be stopped.
I cannot help thinking how much worse it would be to attend a viewing for a suicide or a drug overdose or a murder. Their lives, hopes, dreams, and everything that they held dear--end, without even a goodbye.
His family got to say goodbye. And the healing is beginning. How much longer will it take for Ian's family to move on? May the cold not settle on their hearts forever.
Posted by: Amanda at December 18, 2003 1:40 PM
well, thanks to each of you that responded with kind words. Amanda, that was nicely put.
I hope the service is short, nothing personal... I just don't handle these sorts of things well--I can't think it'll go much better with the holidays so quickly approaching.
:(
Posted by: Karissa at December 18, 2003 2:24 PM
When I was a high school senior, the co-captain of the football team fell asleep at the wheel while driving home from his girlfriend's house (rumor had it that she had called him and asked him to visit late at night because she was upset about something). I didn't exactly run with his crowd, and in fact as part of a gang of jocks he had picked on one of my buddies in the bathroom (nothing too serious, but still). Anyway, his death pretty much shocked the whole school, and I do remember that the funeral and the viewing was painful. When I was in college, there were several drug- and alcohol-related deaths. Again, nobody very close to me, but still... I saw enough of that sort of stuff from the distance that I never felt tempted to indulge in any drugs beyond caffeine or 12-hour Contact. It's too bad that your friend Ian won't benefit from the maturity that his death is going to force his friends do display. There really is nothing to say when you face his relatives... just "I'm sorry" and "I miss him."
Posted by: Dennis G. Jerz at December 18, 2003 4:18 PM
Funerals tear out a piece of your heart, because that is what is placed in front of you.
It takes courage to see what you rather would not.
I'll keep you and all those involved in my prayers.
Posted by: Diana at December 19, 2003 2:03 PM
The viewings started today--the funeral home the family chose is two houses down from where I live, and when cars started parking in front of my house because the lots were full at 2pm, I realized how hard this is going to be.
I'm indecisive about going to the actual service because of the circumstances, but a few of my friends and I are going to the viewing. I just got off the phone with one of my friends, and we decided to meet at the funeral home at 7 to avoid the risk of her driving in the snow we're expected to get tonight...
I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers. Thank you--from me, and on behalf of his family because I'm sure they thank all those that are praying for Ian.
Posted by: Karissa at December 19, 2003 5:50 PM
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. I also lost someone very important - my son Dana, age 29 on April 25, 2003. It is almost 10 months but it seems like yesterday.
Heroin is so strong - it took him and never let him go. Your grief is still so new, I am hear if you would like to talk. I had Dana when I was just 17, we grew up together. His siblings...Jason 23, Sara 17, and Sammi 13 are having a hard time too.
We have to believe they are at peace now...free from pain...if I don't I will crumble.
God bless our lost loved ones,
LEE
Posted by: lee at February 6, 2004 4:08 PM
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. I also lost someone very important - my son Dana, age 29 on April 25, 2003. It is almost 10 months but it seems like yesterday.
Heroin is so strong - it took him and never let him go. Your grief is still so new, I am hear if you would like to talk. I had Dana when I was just 17, we grew up together. His siblings...Jason 23, Sara 17, and Sammi 13 are having a hard time too.
We have to believe they are at peace now...free from pain...if I don't I will crumble.
God bless our lost loved ones,
LEE
Posted by: lee at February 6, 2004 4:08 PM
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. I also lost someone very important - my son Dana, age 29 on April 25, 2003. It is almost 10 months but it seems like yesterday.
Heroin is so strong - it took him and never let him go. Your grief is still so new, I am hear if you would like to talk. I had Dana when I was just 17, we grew up together. His siblings...Jason 23, Sara 17, and Sammi 13 are having a hard time too.
We have to believe they are at peace now...free from pain...if I don't I will crumble.
God bless our lost loved ones,
LEE
Posted by: lee at February 6, 2004 4:09 PM