I like it, it's like what Dr. Arnzen said, it's similar to Haiku.
Paris
Moving bus stopped. Through the gray tint of the window, a vista of Eiffel's legacy seen. Snapped! Still moment..."Huh?" Ascending the skeletal leaden turret. Cloudy sky. Sinuous Seine rolling. Micromachine cars zigzagging. Diving pennies and 'parachuting' soldiers. Moving dots. Triumphant Arc, a speck ahead. "Where's the Eiffel Tower?"
Posted by Michael Diezmos at February 1, 2004 10:20 PMThat was really funny! I liked how you made the language seem like snapshots - almost like a photo album you'd be looking through after the trip was over. Great job =)
Posted by: Johanna at February 2, 2004 1:04 AM