Williamsburg Day 4: Euro-Trip

Today was the big Busch Gardens visit. Now I�m not much of a big theme park kinda guy (with the exception of Universal Studios), I normally enjoy myself a good Kennywood, but today was a good time. We got there right as the park was opening up, and we picked a really good day to go, since it was a Tuesday the crowds were sparse.

If you haven�t been to Busch Gardens, here�s the rundown: it�s like Epcot to the X-treme. They have the park broken up into countries, all of which are filled with the normal stereotypes, and each country has its own big rollercoaster or water ride. There was Italy, England, Scotland, Ireland, Germany, France and �New France.� For the uninitiated, �New France� is French Canada, which not only stuck out like a sore thumb (just like the real French section of Canada) but was also sort of creepy in a �back-water, redneck, Deliverance� sort of way. They didn�t have any rides in New France, just some banjo music and some buildings made out of logs. We didn�t spend much time in that country.

You may have seen commercials for Busch Gardens� newest ride, called �Dark Kastle.� It�s a 3-D adventure ride, sort of in the vein of the Spider-Man ride in Universal Studio, mixed with �the Exterminator� in Kennywood. We went to that ride first because we new the line was going to be huge� and it was. We waited for about a half an hour in the blistering heat that was already creeping about at 10:45 in the morning. We worked our way through the line, which wraps around this giant moldy gray castle in Germany. Once we got in they show you a little movie about this crazy prince who killed his parents and took over the castle and killed all of these dinner party guests. I wasn�t really paying attention, because frankly, I like my rides with as little exposition as possible. If I want windy exposition I�ll read a Sue Monk Kidd book.

We finally got on the ride. Eight people are seated in a golden carriage and whisked away on a track. Each one of us has to put on 3-D glasses (a common staple for any modern amusement park). The ride moves you around on a track, taking you from one move screen to another. It was done really well, blending in the set pieces around us with the computer generated characters on the movie screen. You really felt as if the whole castle was trying to kill you�

Until the ride gets stuck.

Just as things were getting exciting, and the struggle between good and evil was reaching its climax, the movie screen went blank, the sound cut out, and the car stopped moving. We sat there for about three minutes with the other family that was in the car (they had little kids with them, so the parents were madly trying to calm them down, assuring them that we weren�t stuck) until a voice sounded over the speaker system� it was the very ghostly prince who was trying to kill us! �We apologize for the inconvenience. We are currently experiencing technical difficulties and are working diligently to fix them. The ride will resume shortly. Mwahaha!� That jerk! He was enjoying the fact that we were stuck in his stupid castle. I think this evil Prince was happy to see we wasted so much time in line, just to sit in the dark for twenty minutes. Thankfully it wasn�t twenty minutes, it was only about twelve. He came back on and said, �The ride is about to begin shortly, please keep all of your arms and legs inside the car, unless you don�t want them!!!� And with his plucky quip we were on our way. Little did we know that no more than three seconds after the ride started, we reached the exit and had to get off.

But thankfully, the rest of the day was more enjoyable than that. We watched a lot of the shows, the majority of which were ridiculous and lame (with the exception of Italy�s big band music), and rode some rides, the majority of which had a lot of unnecessary exposition! Luckily it wasn�t very crowded there, because Danny and I were quickly becoming annoyed with the theme-park-goers. It always seems like no matter what amusement park you go to, it�s the same kind of people there, and you are 100% annoyed by all of them. They are either walking two slow, holding hands and locking arms so you can�t pass them, not following directions on the rides, or saying ignorant things like �I can see you in 3-D, but if I smell you I�ll be in the forth dimension!�

We ended the evening with this crazy circus ballet thing in France called �Imaginique.� It was sort of like Cirque De Sole for the general public. All I can say is, I�m not surprised France came up with crap like that.