September 28, 2004

The Dangers of Self-Enslaverment

(I had a small but heated debate with my cousing one afternoon, and we both agreed that it was the most facinating conversation we had in ages, we thought it was very philosophical, 'we tought' i decided to blog on some of the facts that we concluded on.)

i don't believe in peer preasure, but if there is something that i do believe in is that often society influence us in ways in which we should live our lives. I'm not saying that the way in which society molds us is a danger, just that the real danger comes from the limitations and insecurities that its effects causes in withing ourselves.

For example, throughout most of my life i was taught by my parents to think for myself, yet at the same time society has culturally influenced me to think of everybody else's needs before mine. Now, i don't think its an awful thing to think of others, it was and is the comon ground towards becoming a conciderate human being. In fact its teachings like: "Don't do anything stupid if its going to hurt other people", "don't do anything that'll embarass your family", "don't do anything that will make others incline to talk and mock", "watch your step. and watch carefully what kind of actions that i did affected those around me." that has help me evolve in the person i've become today.

But still, there is something about that, and about all other influences that perhaps challenge us in many ways, i cannot picture myself pleasing everyone around me, and i know personally of some people that spend their lives doing so and are miserable because of it. Its good to think of others, but its compleately another thing to sacrifise your entire life into doing so. Some people want to go through the rules and please so much that they 'enslave' their lives in doing what it is expected of them to do. I believe in the saying, you have to do what you want to do for you and then think of others feelings while your doing it.

Yet saying it is easy, practicing it is the hardest thing in the world, i wish with all my heart i could make everybody happy and in the process make myself happy as well. i don't want to sacrifisse my life, but i don't want to be inconciderate and selfish either. In life you need to find the propper balance bewteen compromissing and demanding. You need to keep reminding yourself of this all the time, you have to stay you for you, and be you for everyone else that loves you...
(I don't know what else to add, if you have comments please feel welcome to share them, i will love to hear people's opinions on this.)

Posted by MisheilaPellot at September 28, 2004 10:55 AM

Childhood is about the growth from dependence to independence. Adolescence is about the growth from independence to interdependence.

It's easy to be independent -- you just go around saying, "I don't care what other people think." You can't really have a society of people who don't care about each other!

Interdependence is a lot harder to master. I'm still working on it myself, and have a long way to go.

Thanks for a thoughtful post, Mishelia.

Posted by: Dennis G. Jerz at September 28, 2004 5:42 PM

Peer pressure isn't present just at the school or college level, Misheila. It's all around us. Ever come across women/men who make up stories so they can fit better into social groups? Reality hits people hard - especially when they realise that to move on, they really have no choice but to give in to what's being demanded from them. Its very real.

Posted by: Neha at October 8, 2004 4:24 PM

I would say that there is a definate social vibe that people somehow can radar in on. The fact is, whether you believe in peer pressure or not, we are influenced by our social surroundings. Have you ever been told by a high school teacher that it all gets better in college?

They lie! College, from my experience, is just like high school. There is a definate social vibe that makes people in or out. And, as you said, our behaviors are definately influenced by all the groups we are in. Peer pressure is only a piece of the pie. Home, church, teachers, even media have drastic effects on who we are.

I hope you keep blogging, I really enjoyed this post.

Posted by: Evan at November 7, 2004 11:33 PM
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