October 26, 2004

I know this might sound a little...well, how can i put this, all my entries, or at least most of my good entries and fun ideas in writing, evolve from thoughts i've had along the day, questions or perhaps just crazy situations that just seem to evolve in to even crazier plots. Tonight was not a fun night, and it seems like this week will not be an exiting week either as it seem that social tension and personal problems are invading the admosphere of what otherwise could be concider a crazy life.

I don't agree with competition, but females are way too competitive when it comes to everything and i find this to be both frustrating and dumb. I mean i was just thinking earlier if we are so secure about ourselves, our appearance, our self, esteem, why do we always have to compete with eachother on figuring out who's prettier than who all that sort of crap we are always so focussed about.

I've learned that even i tend to do it, me and every girl in america and perhaps the world just has to look around the room full of females (unconciously or conciously) and check out if any of the girls sitting in that room with her are pretier than her or not. i mean competition over beauty is so comon amongs female society and so accepted that we even hold pagents for that sort of thing. We actually devote a whole time span of days and hours and money and Tv time that we could very well be spending trying to...i don't know finding the solution for world hunger or some other thing. In actually trying to pick out of a croud of women who is the pretiest of them all that is worthy of a tittle and a crown.Oh sure, we don't just focuss on beauty, anything else that we could make a contest about we jump right ahead and take it. Who is the smartest, the most sophisticated, most witty, most eloquent and popular. Men do it, yes...but not like we do...

this should arrise the question is there something wrong with us, has society programed us to be this way, to fight over ourselves and be petty about trivial and meaningless situations. Or is it in our nature to be this shrude and sneeky, do we really live up to the comon notion that we brought evil to this world?

Posted by MisheilaPellot at 11:34 PM | Comments (2)

Mind Over Pure Reason

I personally believe that the mind is a very powerful thing, yesterday i was caught up by a standstill, we have so much talent and potential and if we really realize how much we could do with our mind, or just with our will to accomplish something we could do things that many people could even concider as unimaginable.

To be precisse i was tutoring some fiends of mine in their spanish. My friends (who will remain anonymous by their request) were having problems with the subject, saying that they were encountering dificulty with the grammar, the spelling and even the very mechanicals of the language. I thought of it as understandable and tried to walk them through it. Then one of them approached me with the question 'Misheila...wasn't it hard for you to learn english or at least difficulty writing it when you started?"

The answer to this question had me baffled for awhile since i myself didn;t know the right answer to it...yes it was very hard for me to learn a second language, in fact as i recall my experience starting the first freshman year in my all english speaking catholic private highschool, me a girl that had been educated all my life in public schools, yes it was horrendous by the start. But along the way...somehow i think it was in the middle of my sophmore year english became one of my favorite subjects and i convinced myself i guess that it wasn;t as tough as i originaly sought it out to be.

My point in bringing this little anecdote however is that i believe the only reason why we even function in this world, in our lives, in our talents and decitions is because not of our inteligence or our slickness (although i wont denny they play an important role in our development too.) But in our belief in our success, our blind determination on acomplishing something against the odds. Our will our power to believe in the unbelivable, in the unproven, the unknown, God, Fate, Destiny. The little convictions that keep us sane, that give us hope and that make stronger than what we like to give them credit for...

Posted by MisheilaPellot at 01:03 AM | Comments (0)

October 14, 2004

The Ramblings of a Caffeine Indused Person

Its five thirty in the morning and i'm as wirred as you have no idea, i've had zero hours of sleep, not a snack nor a shower, a class at two, a paper due for today and i have seemed to single handedly managed to consume eight cups of coffee in the last two and a half hours. i can' t remember th last time that i had gotten to bed so late...oh yet again yeas i do, it was two days ago, and yeasterday, and the day before for what seems to be now...oh, i don't know two weeks!!??

But it seems that in this state of caffeine withdrawal and delision cause by both stress, desperation, fear and out of exaustion i've had plenty of time in my head to think, to think about what you may ask. Well for once how can people live day after day after day in the same monotonous routine and never being able to become exhauted or bored of it. Like for example, our daily existence consist on getting up, eating, moving, going to work, going to school, eat again, think, work more, talk, work more, think again, eat, talk, talk talk, work, heading back going to sleep, getting up, and doing it all over again.

I mean really...what's wrong with us? We are so predicatable, its pathetic, everyonr is, even the rebel people who 'state they are not predictable', really are once you look down to it hard enough...i mean even they do all the same functions the rest of us 'predictable flock of sheep' tend to do, the only difference is just that they sleep more, work less and talk forever.

I've yet failed to have met a person that decides nd thinks so individually and have such power in its behaviour and life existance and energy so that one day he single handedly decides that he just wont sleep, or eat, or talk, work, or think. No...because not only would that probably define the characteristics of an unanimous object, but it also dosen't make that person...you know, all that intresting to beging with. I've heard some people who practice religions such a Buddism in which they tend to believe in the term mind over body, are capable of doing some of the things i just listed. i don't know why, i wish i could be able to do it, not just will it help me with fisical and mental well being, but it will also let me lay of the caffein for a little while...(he,he, he)


Posted by MisheilaPellot at 05:39 AM | Comments (1)

The Win and Loose of Life:

Throughout my existance i've always belived myself to be the kind of person that always seems to sit, watch and plan what the world and 'destiny' has in store for us. I always thought that whether my future included a publisher prize for literature or a million dollars in the lottery or fear factor swepstakes instead of me looking for it, the logical answer that stood in my head was that fate would somehow make it happen for me along the way.

The truth is that when it comes right down to it, i must admit i tend to be a little bit of a control freak when it comes to my planning. Whenever i think there is a situation ahead that may unfold in my favor i emidiatelly raise my hopes up and do everything startegicly planned for it to work on my favor one way or the other. Of course life and its cruel teachings have told me that its not always like that, you may plan something ahead, you might see it, but the factors may shift or turn.

Fate takes you i believe so far, it can only do so much to affect us human beings and our umpredicatble patterns. It takes a miniscule role in our decitions, it yeas, perhaps points us to our paths and then its up to us to decide to take helm upon a situation. Life and its umpreditability is what makes the world beautiful, the not knowing, the not guessing, the waking up one morning finding yourself stressing and running because your alarm clock failed and you where laid to class, the constant rush of an overseen situation, the blushing rush your cheeks make when your walking down the steps in prom night and you trip. Those are the moments that really remember us that we are here and alive and if that's the prize i have to pay for loosing sometimes, well then leat it be. because i wouldn;t trade on that for the world...

Posted by MisheilaPellot at 05:16 AM | Comments (1)

October 06, 2004

Infactuation

To love you more if i explain:
It is to die now or live in vain
You have my love with which inspires,
all the epidemy of my desires.
And make it all in which i hope
Is but the color of my ode.

To have you ride in one fair night,
in armor black and horse that strides.
Under the stars so bright and blazing
To think of it sends my heart quaking.
For you are more than just a dream,
than merle reflexion of my own squeme.

i have no want but have you here,
so close to me that i feel fear.
To feel your warmth to feel you near,
to have all time but sit us still.
What do i do if not to ponder,
Your indecition makes me but wonder.
Should i agree to show my aching,
or leave my love to be forsaken...


Posted by MisheilaPellot at 05:54 PM | Comments (4)