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Terrorism Is So Passé

September 16, 2004

Terrorism Is "So 15 Minutes Ago"

"NEW YORK, NY - According to a new poll conducted by Teen People, the constant threat of terrorist attacks has ceased to be a hot commodity with today's youth. Experts blame years of hype for the loss of terrorism's "edge"."


"Various attempts to make the war on terror appeal to the young, such as Ryan Seacrest's exclusive interview with Saddam Hussein, have failed to keep the threat of terror on the radar of most adolescents. In a poll conducted by Tiger Beat, most teens listed their current mindset as:

Worry about what other girls are saying - 56%
Worry if the cute guy in Shop class is a stalker - 47%
Hope parents buy a "wicked new ride" for them - 46%
Plan to get drunk at the bitchin' party next weekend - 39%
Start up a new singing group with their friends to fill the void left by Destiny's Child - 25%
Worry about the threat of more terror attacks - 10%
Plan to use a condom when they finally snag the captain of the football team - 0.5%

Clearly terrorism isn't a concern for modern youth. But the administration plans to change that.

Tom Ridge said Thursday that plans are in place to kick the terror alerts up a notch. Each level will have a corresponding "soundtrack", a song provided by today's hottest contemporary artists. For example, threat level yellow will be followed by Nelly's "Hot in Here", while the red threat level will be accompanied by Uncle Kracker's "Follow Me". The "upgrades" are set to take effect mid-September, in an effort to steal hype from the planned release of Justin Timberlake's new album."

Read the Full Article


Moira at 02:05 PM :: Comments (3) :: « :: »

So true that hype is what drives our society. Funny, but truly, very sad.

Posted by: Amanda at September 16, 2004 04:57 PM

I wonder if they're going to use Kenny G for the green alert level.

Posted by: Hashim at September 16, 2004 08:02 PM

Amanda - it is both funny and sad! what do you expect from a culture raised on television, i suppose...

Hashim - that's just scary and wrong! if i heard Kenny G, you know I'd be running for the nearest bomb shelter. okay. maybe not.

Posted by: moira at September 17, 2004 01:15 PM
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