i'm just a literary tease, my reputation's on its knees.

Screw You, Marriage Protection Act

September 30, 2004

You know, for a long time now, I've stayed out of the whole Marriage Protection Movement debate. I'd read about the people who said marriage is a sacred act to exist only between a man and a woman. I've seen those bumper stickers that say "Marriage = Man + Woman." On the other side of the debate, I've gotten the emails from the Human Rights Campaign urging me to writing letters to my representatives. I've listened to what my friends have to say about the issue, but for the most part, I've keep my mouth shut about the issue.

Well... now it's time to make my stand. See, today in the U.S. House of Representatives, The Anti-Gay Marriage Amendment Failed. Sure, the amendment only failed by a depressing 49 votes and will probably be pushed for a re-vote this time next year, but still: In some respects, the argument is over and I can tell the world what I really think:

The whole gay marriage issue is just STUPID!

Now. Before you write me mean letters saying, "How can an open-minded, well-educated and generally nice person such as yourself make such a comment?" allow me to further detail the reasonings behind my stance:

My point is: Who Cares? And for the people who -do- care, Why Do You Care?

I don't understand all the fuss! If two people love each other enough to get married, why the hell should their government have diddly squat to say about it? I mean, unless I'm mistaken, it is the year 2004 -not- 1804, right? I mean, yeah, back in the day, the government got to say who married whom and who got to boink whom and who owned whom and blah blah blah, but we have progressed at least a little teeny bit past that, haven't we? Maybe I'm wrong?

I mean, maybe I do live in a country where my government, the great overseeing authority, gets to say whom I get to boink. I mean, I didn't know... Is there a form I have to fill out first?

Cuz, that's what it all boils down to isn't it? Sex, pure and simple. Some people are so dirty minded that when they see two people of the same gender holding hands or something that they immediately construct this whole little fantasy of what those two people do in the bedroom that soon they get all hot and bothered and goddamnit they can't be the bad people so it must be those darn gays. It's a bunch of crap!

I haven't had much to say about the Marriage Protection Amendment because, honestly, I thought it was such a ridiculous notion to bring before the ruling powers of the good old United States that I could scarcely believe that, yes, this is a -real- issue that people actually waste -real- U.S. taxpayer dollars debating in Congress. It almost seems like a joke, doesn't it?

I mean, you know, I hate to keep beating a dead horse here, but we've got hurricanes killing poor folks in third world nations by the thousands, wars in other third world countries killing poor people by the millions, we have assault rifles sold legally to people who might just be walking around on the streets of our fair Greensburg with them. We have a million and one better things that our Congress could be doing with their time.

But whatever. I'm not a citizen of this stinkin' country anyway. So who cares, right? Who cares indeed.

Well... I guess I care. I'll be honest. I think it would be really cool if my gay friends could get married. And if I could wear a pretty dress to their wedding. And it would be cool to know that if I fell in love with a blind acrobatic juggler from Mexico, regardless of his or her gender, that I could get married to the object of my affection. And, it would be really really cool to know that when I go to bed with whomever I choose to go to bed with that the government could stay right on out of my damn bedroom. Thank you. And goodnight.

Moira at 09:13 PM :: Comments (3) :: ::

It's just another "issue" conveniently brought up in time to take focus off of more improtant real issues that neither party want to discuss. Take your pick of Afghan war, Iraq war, gun control, US war crimes, opening up logging on the Appalachian Trail, Bush jacking the last election, Isreal:WTF?!, and a bunch of other shit I can't mention without having some secret society wanting to silence people over(lets say for instance the rape accusation made aganist Bush many years ago tha tonly made it to a local newspaper).

Posted by: HA! at October 3, 2004 02:45 AM

You should also check this out for fun. Click on the link to the Bush Spelling Bee Game

Posted by: HA! at October 3, 2004 11:12 AM

Thank you, Moira. This post was a hilarious look at what is called heterosexism. Gays pay the same taxes, have to go to the same stinkin' wars, and not to mention put up with this whole homophobic hate crimes crap, yet don't get to reap the economic benefits of marriage.

I'm surprised they still let us piss in the same stalls. It's not only ridiculous, but embarassing that this nation makes exceptions to rights granted to every person.

How 'bout this scenario: every gay (male or female) stops paying taxes, stops doing his/her civic duties, stops bying all this crap that heterosexist companies produce, 'cause we "should secure the sanctity of marriage." In a capitalistic society, I highly doubt those are the motives...

But, anyway, assuming this would happen, I feel as if this whole thing would change. Why? Because it is all about the Benjamins, baby! The point is gays, whether ya like it or not contribute to this country and get nothing in return but high hate crime rates.

Who cares what sex a person sleeps with? If ya don't like it, then stop staring!

Posted by: Evan at November 7, 2004 11:56 PM
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