i'm just a literary tease, my reputation's on its knees.

Dr. Kervorkian Eats Lima Beans

April 18, 2005
During my most recent controlled near-death experience, I got to interview William Shakespeare. We did not hit it off. He said the dialect I spoke was the ugliest English he had ever heard, "fit to split the ears of groundlings." He asked if it had a name, and I said, "Indianapolis."

The above quote is from a fabulous little book called "God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian" by none other than Kurt Vonnegut, the sole reason that I applied to Harvard back in the day. (Yes, I really applied to Harvard and, no, I did not get in.)

See, what I really wanted was a little piece of paper proving that I could have gone to Harvard... ah well... the fancies of youth! I remember my interview for Harvard with a local alum - I was nervous as hell and unaccustomed to interacting with human beings so I stared off into the corner of the room (ah, that corner, I remember it well) and stuttered when Dr. Whateverhisnamewas asked me questions about my Future Plans, as if I had any freaking idea when I was 18 years old.

Harvard was the only college where I didn't get in - among the fine locations that did accept me were the University of Pittsburgh, Douglas College in.. New Jersey? Washington and Jefferson in some place I don't remember, a couple other colleges that I can't for the life of me remember (I graduated in '97, guys, I'm an old freakin' lady. The alzheimer's is starting to set in <-- see? I can't even remember how to spell!).

The fine institution where I started my college career was Youngstown State University, home of the... penquin? Penquins? In Ohio? Who the hell came up with that one? Yes. See, it wasn't like I had this deep-seated need to commune with penquins in Ohio - I didn't even know Ohio -had- penquins - and it certainly wasn't that I had heard anything good about YSU... or anything at all for that matter. The truth was that YSU was where the money was, and therefore, so was I.

I don't want to say anything bad about YSU but... it sucked. I just wasn't ready for college, you know? I was ready to party hard and break free of all the barriers that had held me back in high school. I was ready to expand my mind, to tune in and tune out, to get crazy and, finally, to drop out of college. Awesome.

I was a member of the University Scholars - YSU paid for my school, my room and board, and even my books for my first year of college. I'm pretty darn sure that the Scholars Program, a newbie at the time I went there, has been a roaring failure. I know of four people from my class of, what, 25? 50? scholars who have since dropped out. (Note to self: Research this!!!)

Anyway, musing on my past failures, er, experiences was not my intention with this post. Instead, I wanted to recommend a kickass book to y'all:

Kurt Vonnegut's "God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian"

Check it. (And, if you wanna borrow it, let me know.)

Moira at 10:49 PM :: Comments (3) :: ::

I wold just like to say Kurt Vonnegut is amazing.

thank you


Posted by: kellyn at April 19, 2005 02:06 PM

I applied to Princeton and was accepted, but I decided it was a little too far for me. Going with a smaller school that's closer to my home for my undergrad seems smart--but when I'm looking at grad school, watch out! I'm going wherever I have to go for a TA position and a degree in rhetoric (at least that's what I think I want to do right now...).

Posted by: Karissa at April 19, 2005 02:54 PM

Kellyn - I'm glad I have a fellow Vonnegut fan in my midst! Rockin'

Karissa - Go you!! I'm glad you are at SHU! ;c) Good luck! I just talked with Dr. J today about grad school and he recommended rhetoric - I'm going to look into it!

Posted by: moira at April 19, 2005 03:30 PM
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