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i'm just a literary tease, my reputation's on its knees.

Utah Vs. Moira

March 24, 2006

It occurs to me sometimes that I generally have no idea what I am doing. My plans are just about finalized for my upcoming trip to Ogden, Utan for the National Undergraduate Literature Conference. Sure, it's way cool that I've been invited to present my paper, and I'm excited to go somewhere new. But it's Utah! Six days in Utah? Alone? Oh, kids, we're in trouble here. If half of what I know about Utah is true (polygamy, Mormons, salt), Dr. A's example in Publication Workshop today, which included dialogue about a cop wanting to arrest me, may have been more than a funny example of dialogue gone wrong. I can just imagine the story titles:

On the run in Utah
A British Ex-Pat in Ogden: Me and You, ta.
My Short-Lived Career As A Mormon Housewife
When Salt Kills
Mutiny of the Mommies
The Utah Taskforce Special Edition: Moira Gone Wild

What's a girl to do in Utah, anyway?

Well, with 8 listings on Shadowland's "Haunted Places in Utah", I could get in a little ghost hunting in my free time. The Historic Radisson Suite Hotel has a problem that reminds me strangely of 2nd floor Admin: A ghost named Mrs. Eccles stops the elevator on the 5th floor. Hmm... Union Station, one of Utah's oldest railroad stations, has been featured on television due to its unexplained ghostly occurences. Even Weber State university has a few ghost stories: Should I worried that they both involve handguns? Yikes. Maybe I'll leave the ghost hunting for another locale.

I might be able to find a Big Foot if I am lucky and I bring peanut butter sandwiches. (For me, not Big Foot, come on!) Apparently, Big Foot is Big Pimpin' out in Utah: there have been 160 sightings in the state. Even the Book of Mormons mentions the lumbering beast! In fact, the Uintah mountains near Ogden boast more sightings that any other area in Utah. Sure, eight guys went searching for BF all tripped out in the seventies and found nothing, but Utah and Mr. Foot have never encountered me before. You just never know...

Well, I guess I won't be that bored after all. But will I be safe? I figure I should be wary of a few things here and there. After all, I am a woman traveling ala carte in the land of many wives. Blurbomat suggests I be on the look-out for "churchy weirdness." [ If you visit this page, be sure to read the comments. Hah! ]
Apparently, not all Mormons like Utah:

"When I lived in Utah and was a practicing Mormon, I couldn't wait to get out."

More than that, I need to worry about pajamas?

"Ogden, Utah - There's a new fad of students - mostly girls - wearing pajama bottoms to school, and so far administrators are not making a fuss about it."

Thanks, Normblog, you said it yourself: no one cares, but you are on it! Rock.

So, what do you know about Utah?

Moira at 9:20 PM :: Comments (2) :: ::
Comments:

Well, I know that my younger brother is fond of their basketball team, which is called the "Jazz." Or at least it was about four years ago... I could be really wrong with all the team trades and whatnot.

Have fun, Moira. And if all else fails, collect sugarpackets for your friend in PA who has never been further west than Ohio :-)

Posted by: Karissa at March 25, 2006 11:35 AM

I know next to nothing about Utah. I do know this: Jell-o is the official snack food of Utah. Don't ask.

Posted by: Adam at March 28, 2006 4:22 PM
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