September 8, 2004

Clinton Warns Kerry That The Public Won't Elect a Retard

The other day, former President Bill Clinton gave candidate John Kerry a detailed plan on how to revamp his damaged campaign. When asked what was said, Clinton replied "I spend the first 30 minutes telling Kerry not to be retarded. When he just kept talking about his war record, something completely irrelevent to his campaign, I realized something drastic needed to be done and repeatedly beat him over the head with a table lamp. This seemed to do little or no good." Clinton spent the last 30 minutes of the meeting in cardiac arrest after seeing Kerry zone out and start playing with his war medal. Onlookers say that this was probably the most productive part, as Kerry promptly fell asleep and for a short while at least, stopped talking about Vietnam.
As he was being wheeled in for surgery, Doctors heard Clinton mumble "Step up the drugs...I don't want to be conscious to see the outcome of this damned election."
As a side note, on the way out of the hospital, Kerry had a relapse of Post War Syndrome, and repeatedly stabbed an orderly in the chest with his war medal. The orderly was not available for comment.

Posted by PaulCrossman at September 8, 2004 3:50 PM

Maybe after his failed campaign, Kerry could sell the "war medal that stabbed Cliton" on E-bay to try and cover the cost of a useless...O' so Useless campaign trailed, lined with crying democrats and soon to be Motherless Children when the rebulicans win.......

Posted by: Stephan at September 8, 2004 4:14 PM
Post a comment

Remember personal info?