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September 22, 2006
New Evidence Points to Myspace as Catalyst in Educational Depression of 2300
Greensburg PA- A local scientist was browsing the net while driving to work one morning when he claims to have stumbled across an old, abandoned Myspace page. This discovery, if validated, will be one of only 10 remaining pages left in existence today, and according to unnamed sources at Seton Hill University of Internet Sciences, could expose the true reasons behind the almost complete depletion of both public and private schools circa 2300.
Though several prominent scientists at the competing University of Saint Vincent claim that the site is a flagrant forgery, the official declaration thus far seems to be that the relic is genuine, causing quite a stir in the scientific community.
Official reports state the name of the page to be “Black Tears at Midnight,” and it contains, among other things, an official log of an apparent 18 year olds decision to drop out of an antique public school. In a private interview, Dr. Dennis Jerz VIII of Seton Hill told The Post that 8 out of the 10 existing pages contained remarkably similar accounts, possibly linking the overuse of sites like Myspace to the decline and eventual demise of almost every type of organized education.
After the Reynolds Administration passed the bill declaring pages like Myspace unconstitutional in 2344 and initiated a new online schooling program, education began the slow rise and expansion to how we know it today. On top of this striking new evidence, the site also contained an array of badly written poetry, proving just how decrepit the lack of education had become. According to Jerz, the fact that Myspace allowed young men and women to showcase this lack of education as if it was a positive trait was what put the final nail in the coffin of 24th century education .
If scientists can continue to unearth enlightening historical documents such as this, then the true cause of the Great Educational Depression cannot possibly elude us for much longer. Perhaps by learning of our past through these continuing breakthroughs, we may be able to locate the key to preventing such a travesty from ever occurring in the near or distant future.
Posted by PaulCrossman at September 22, 2006 03:08 AM
Comments
Love it... blogged it.
Posted by: Dennis G. Jerz at September 22, 2006 07:28 PM