Voiceless Thoughts

"... the only bond that can keep hearts together--an unreserved community of thought and feeling."

Many people often put great emphasis on making sure that they constantly have some sort of communication with those they want to remain close to throughout their lives. Unconsciously they pour out their emotions and thoughts in order to create a bond that is founded on trust and confidence. Bonds that are above the need for secrets or hidden agendas. Without some form of communication between people it is impossible to truly get to know someone. Although one is able to learn and gather information about a person simply by observing their physical behavior, this information would be useless because it would lack the motivation and conflicts the person faces internally. In order for key determining info to be found out about a person their thoughts must be voiced, their concerns made clear and their passions painted across their chests. In the case of the "The Wife" by Washington Irving, the narrator points to the fact that the only thing that can endanger true and blissful love is the lack of communication. A heart may be filled with unrelenting care for another but unless voiced, a free-flowing highway can never be created. Once voiced, this highway simply cannot maintain its strength without a constant shared communication of thoughts, emotions and ideals as people grow. 


While I believe all of this is true, it is easier said than done. Many men feel that it is theirplace to support the family, to lead the household workforce, to be that person everyone depends on. When that foundation is shaken or broken, what is a man to do? Everything he has stood for, lived for, worked for, is threatened and he has little say in what goes on. This is very similar to Chillingworth in The Scarlet Letter. After the damage is done, why would he want people to know what happened and why he is different now? The same is for Leslie. Feeling so downtrodden and useless, he can't bare to fathom (let alone go through with) the reacton from his wife to even tell her what happened. I think any man would have a terrible time coming home to his wife and saying, "Honey, I just lost my job...is that okay with you?" Holy terror - imagine Van Winkle if he had a meager job! He would probably, after blunt force trauma to the ears from her ranting, be sleeping outside with his dog.

Is keeping this from his wife a bad thing? Maybe, although he would just be puttng off the eventual. But the stronger portion of this story is that she loves him. She truly does.

I understand that men feel that it is their role to be the bread winner within their household but I also think that they should know that being defeated does not make one weak. It is my idea that when you love someone and chose to marry them it is a sign that something inside of you is able and comfortable enough to not be 100% in front of them at every single moment. Although there are moments when it is necessary to show you are manly in every aspect a woman would want you to be, there also comes a time when it is imperative to show that, although man, one is still human and can be broken or chipped.

Peaches, I get what your saying - but in order for that to change, society has a whole must change. Nowadays, there is no nobility in poverty, and so, one who is not the bread winner or winning bread at all for that matter, is simply less of a person.

Society does look down on men that cannot provide for their families but that is an issue in which it would take years to break down those barriers. However, when it comes to lovers it becomes more than a relationship but also a partnership. A partnership which depends on the support of your spouse. If either partner cannot confide in the other, the possibility of working together to create solutions is eliminated.

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This page contains a single entry by Peaches Ostalaza published on September 20, 2010 11:27 PM.

Hell Hath No Fury Like.... was the previous entry in this blog.

Trespasser in the Midst is the next entry in this blog.

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