Black or White.. Purple or Blue.. It doesn't matter!

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Today I was a part of a very interesting, disturbing, and shocking debate.  I'm not going to list names nor am I going to list relations for confidential purposes.  Prepare for a boost into reality; this can and will get very offensive.

A group of seven of us were sitting around a table having some coffee talk, when the discussions turned very political, and very social. How it started, I'm not exactly sure, but the topic of mixed marriages and same sex marriages came up. Now I understand that everyone is intitled to their own opinion, and as a writer I always encourage people to stand up for what they believe in. Nevertheless, I appreciate when people share that same ideology with me as well.

Here are the results of the conversation:

  • 3/7 of the people in the discussion felt that mixed marriages of any sort are wrong whether it be a bi-racial marriage or a same sex marriage
  • 1/7 of the people were for bi-racial/ same sex marriages, with the expection that they should not be able to have children
  • 2/7 of the people felt that there was nothing wrong with bi-racial or same sex marriages, yet said that would be upset if their own kid decided to go down this path
  • 1/7 of the people felt that there was nothing wrong with a bi-racial or same sex all.

If you can't tell by the title of this blog entry, or the fact that I'm writing a blog entry about this topic, I feel very strongly that there is nothing wrong with bi-racial and same sex relationships, whether on a friend or an intimate level.  If you fall in love, you can't help that.  You fall in love with the person, not their gender, their color, nor their ethnicity.  Forming relationships shouldn't come with a set of rules.  People should be able to base their relationships soley on compatability.  

I was very upset by the tone the conversation ended up having.  Person 1 screamed at the top of their lungs that I was brought up wrong for thinking this, and that clearly there was something wrong with me.  They even went as far as to say that if I ever chose this path that I would not be welcomed in their house now that they know how I felt.  Person 2 didn't come out and say it, but it was very obvious that they felt the same.  

Person 3 brought up an interesting question to both Person 1 and 2.  He/she asked: 'If you were dieing by loss of blood or of a failed organ, and your donor was black, would you be ok with that?"  Both responded, "I would rather die."

It has/will always be emotionally difficult for me to listen to such racist comments.  I have a very hard time believing that there are still people in this world that don't believe everyone is equal, and others are superior. I'm writing this entry to let you know that racism still goes on this world, even though some of it may be hidden, and some it might not.  I am not gay, nor am I in a bi-racial relationship, but that doesn't mean that I can't speak out against a wrong that I think our society is committing.  As I stated before, it's not the color, the race, the gender or the ethnicity that you'll fall in love's the person. It's the personality. The look in their eyes.  The way they make you laugh.  It's the person, and it doesn't matter if they are black, white, purple or blue.   


The below are some links that you can check out.  They include a variety of recommended books you can read if you are interested in race and gender relationships.

-Happy reading; Let me know what you think! :)


Stephanie, you had a memorable experience when you encountered people with strong opinions that differ from yours. That's the situation in which we have the most powerful conversations -- as opposed to when we're sitting only with people who agree with us and we can shake our head in wonder at how wrong the "other side" is.

I'm glad to see Flannery O'Connor on your list of recommended reading. You might also consider her story "The Artificial Nigger," which emphasizes that racism is learned behavior, not instinctive.

Enoch Hagans said:

I have a unique story regarding my upbringing as a African-American of Jewish hertiage. My mother was a African-American who married my father who was a Sephardic Jew whose family came from Spain.
Please contact me at the above e-mail regarding this story because I had the best and the worst of both worlds.
Enoch Hagans

Jessica said:

I have personal experince in the matter on if blacks and whites should marry or even date. I have been talking to this man for about two years now,and yes he is black. I love him with all my heart. We started out as being just friends and then we got closer and developed feelings for eachother. My parents at first was okay with the fact because all they knew was that we was friends. My mom even called him, her black son. But, as soon as they found out that we was more then just friends and that we had feelings for eachother she hated the fact. I think is only because she never thought her daughter would ever love a black guy. Now dont get me wrong, my mom did not raise me to be racist or to judge other poeple. she raised me that there is no difference between me and everyone else except our skin color. We all hurt the same, bleed the same, and fall in love the same way. So mom did raise me right. Even though my mom tried to splet us up we are still going strong and i love him more and more every day! and even though we are living in two different states right now that does not change how we feel about one another!!!

stephanie wytovich said:

Wow those were two very compelling stories! Jessica, congratulations on your relationship! I'm glad that you followed your heart and not what others thought :) and Enoch, if you explain to me how to get your email address, I would love to hear your story!

Thanks for responding!

KL Grady said:

Stephanie - I stopped by here while bookmarking all the blogs posted for the horror readings class and saw this entry. I'm really sick at the thought that this mentality still persists anywhere - specifically I'm shocked at the "I'd rather die" comment. But thank you for sharing this. It's good information to have.

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