April 2005 Archives

Poetry Slam

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I was sitting around for awhile trying to figure out what I wanted to do for tonights class. One of my favorite poets is Emily Dickinson, and unfortunately she didn't fit the time period so I couldn't read any of her poetry. So I looked around among some of my other favorites. One of my personal favorites is Robert Frost. I found that he fits the time period and I picked out a couple of the poems that I really liked.

I am actually kind of excited but a little worried that I will be laughed a by how I am going to present them, especially one of them. I get really into it, hey, it's an awesome poem. I'm also kind of hoping that I won't have the same poems as anyone elses, that would be pretty crappy. I guess it won't matter since we would probably be reading it differently anyway.

P.S. the new movable type is so different, but I really like it, it seems a lot nicer than before.


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Slipping into darkness;
cold and alone.
Icy fingers;
chill my heart.
salty tears;
paint a wet path.
hidden in the darkness;
anger lurkes.
bubbling and brew;
trying to hold it in.
Hiding the hurt;
they have caused me.
Hoping someone helps me;
find the light within.


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Well, I was going to try to write in my blog every day in April but now I'm not sure if I am even going to bother. I really don't mind blogging at all, I like being able to write poetry and things when I need somewhere to work them out. But I'm not sure if I even want to write in here any more once school is over. Nobody ever comes to my blog, if they are, they aren't posting comments which I find rather rude considering the fact that I post other people's blogs. I think the only person who actually comes to visit me once in awhile is Karissa (thanks Karissa I appreciate that, at least I know that one person actually gives a crap about me and the things I have to say). It's very sad that not only am I a loner in the real world, I'm a loner in the blogging world as well. I want to thank everyone for making me feel like crap, I'm sure it made everyone's day.

It really bothers me that people only visit their best friends blog and nobody elses. Sorry I don't have a best friend, because I don't just stick to one person's blog. Yes I blog in Karissa's blog a lot more now because she is pretty much the only person actually takes the time to come visit me. Even Dr. Jerz doesn't even read my stuff anymore, so pretty much it all makes me feel pretty crummy. Why should I blog if nobody cares. I can bet I'm not going to get any comments on this blog either. If anybody is scared away by my negativity, I'm sorry, sometimes it gets the best of me, and a lot of times I do it without realizing it. Just realize that I'm trying to work on it.

Half-Skinned Steer

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I really thought this story was interesting. I have read it before, so I was ready to dive into it again. With this story I really feel that the author is trying to give a realistic view with a twist.
The harshness of ranch life is being reveiled. I really think that a lot of times that the lives of ranchers and farmers are fantasized and romantasized especially during the depression. And then there's the twist. One of the things that bugged me and intriged me the most about this story is the skinning of the steer. First, a lot of people in my other class said that this part was so gruesome, but in reality its what happens when someone butchers. It's real life, it's what goes on at a ranch, especially during that time, everyone butchered their own animals, they didn't go to the grocery store to pick up some meat. One of the other things that bugs the heck out of me is the fact that when I did some research about the author, I found out that she doesn't really like to do research herself. If she would have actually gone out of her way and actually researched she would have found out that what she wrote about the butchering and skinning was incorrect, at least in my eyes. After talking to my Grandparents who were raised on farms told me that butchering was actually a social thing. Nobody ever worked by themselves, and the whole "event" took the whole day to do. Nobody ever left the animal, and someone was always there taking care of things, like tending the fire and such. They would have never left it half-skinned and then walked away. The other thing is, even though this may be gruesome, but once you stick an animal, it's dead, there is no possible way that it is going to get up and start walking around.
One of the other things that makes me wonder in this story is the ending. It comes off as kind of being unclear, at least to me anyway. I really honestly believe that the old man didn't make it. The story speaks of the fact that its so cold out side. He's miles from his destination, and it's probably not really that safe to walk that distince in below freezing temperatures in his condition. Also, the car won't run, because it's stuck and there really isn't much that he can do. I really think that he died at the end. When the author speaks of him and the cow I kind of wonder if they are supposed to be ghosts at the end.

Reading in the Courtyard

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Today I actually dared to venture outside without my coat, I was very surprised to find it so nice out. One of my classes was cancelled today, so I had the oppurtunity to sit in the courtyard. I am really glad, I did this because Tuesdays and Thursdays are my busy days, and if that hadn't happend I probably wouldn't have had the opportunity that I did. I am hoping that tomorrow is just as nice, I plan on going out there again. It's so peaceful out there.

Stretching among the leaves;
lighting up my page.
Golden light;
warms my face.
Erasing the tension;
soothing my mind.
Warm caressing breeze;
tussleing curls.
Shadows dance;
across my feet.
Beauty in places;
i never looked.
Finding relief;
in a stressful week.

I know this isn't the best thing I ever wrote but I felt inspired. I am so glad I got the opportunity to spend time in the Courtyard today.

Taking a Break

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For the last week or so I have been majorly procrastinating, but then, who hasn't. I think today it all finally caught up with me, or at least this week anyway. Everything is due within the next few days and I'm running around like a chicken with her head cut off trying to get things done. As much as I hate the fact that I waited to the last minute to get things done I'm glad that I'm busy for the time being. Also, I have all of the things that I have to do on post-it notes in my room. Its nice to be able to take them down when I finally have something finished. I actually feel like I accomplished something.

I am a little mad though that the computer guy was supposed to come by today to fix my computer and he never showed up, so I wasted 30 minutes that I could have been working. I'm still in the computer lab, I think I will be able to get everything finished and I will be very relieved.

For some reason this month I am trying to blog something everyday, I guess just to see if I can do it, and just because I need to give my blog a little more attention. I think tomorrow or wednesday I will post my report for The Half Skinned Steer, I want to reread it again and do a little research before I do anything.

Now that I have wasted my time, I will get back to work.

Edgar Allan Poe

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While working on my unit plan for my education class I was doing some research on Edgar Allan Poe (I'm doing my lesson/unit plan on him and his works) I found a poem that I really liked, I just thought I would post it since I liked it so much.

It's called Alone, but Allan Edgar Poe

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view

Ghost Hunters

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Ok, so tonight I went to the floor program tonight for the ghost thing. It was really interesting. We shared a lot of stories and the ghost hunters told a lot of interesting things. We saw a lot of neat pictures too. We all went into room 502 in maura to check out orbs and stuff. Unfortunatly I didn't feel anything, most people that went in said that they at least thought the air seemed heavier, I didn't feel anything. Everyone else seemed to have a orbs around them and could sense positive energy around them. I left feeling really disappointed, I guess ghosts aren't attracted to me. As I learned, it seems that ghosts sometimes attach themselves to certain people.

I've always believed in ghosts and angels so I thought I would get to experience something. I think the people that got the best experiences tonight were the ones who have already had experiences before. Anyways, according to the people that were here, they said that this place is pretty haunted for sure, and they want to come back and check out other places like, the chapel, the bell tower, the cemetary, and brownlee.

I heard an interesting new story about the ghosts and things on this campus, appearently there is a story about the burning nun, oh and this incident took place in St. Joseph Hall on the third floor when it still was the nun housing. I think thats kind of funny, because I think the third floor is the creepiest, especially at night. I don't know how our professors stand it. *Shiver* Gives me the goosebumps just thinking about it.

Computers Suck!!!!

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I'm sitting here in the computer, freezing to death (I don't know where the air is coming from, I think someone has a window open) because my stupid computer has a bunch of viruses on it. My virus protecter lets me know I have them but won't get rid of them (I think it might be outdated and I don't know how to update it). My computer started flipping out this morning so I had to shut it off before it got really bad. There is only one good thing that has come out of it, I can't be distracted by my computer now, which is guess is a good thing. Now I can get my work done. I'm very angry and frustrated with it right now, I just want to pick it up and throw it out the window (kind of ha, I'll fix you attitude). I can't even listen to my music, my CD's or iTunes. This really sucks and I don't know what to do. I e-mailed the IT departement, so hopefully they will be able to help. I just want to cry right now. This has been one of the worst weeks ever (then again there probably have been a lot worse, but my main point is, is that it's going pretty crappy). I really hate computers and life right now. Well, it was nice to vent my frustrations.

Ok, I think I'm being kicked out of the computer lab, better run.

As I stated in class, I really didn't like the wife in the story. To me it seemed like she was just trying to pick a fight with her new husband. She would ask him his oppinion or make him agree with her and then totally shoot him down. But I can kind of see what everyone was saying in class about the husband. He definatly didn't know the wants or needs of the woman that he had married. But I honestly don't believe that it was an arranged marriage. When I read it got that he seemed to have know the sister and the friend pretty well, and he may have known them for at least a little bit of time.
To add to that I guess I can kind of see the sexual tension between the too, meaning they are little nervous about that night. But can you blame them? I thought this story was ok, I definatly liked it better than the Blood-Moon story.

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